Monday, February 26, 2007

Dear Charlie:

All right, Sis. Here goes. You asked for it. I have no doubt you will shortly be suffering infinite rue-age.

1. Height? 5'8"

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Don't you inject heroine? I thought you smoked opium. Either way, nope.

3. Do you own a gun? No, but I housed my dad's coon-huntin rifles for over a year.

4. Who would you let eat crackers in your bed? Duh. Vin Diesel. That boy could eat a seven course meal with extra dessert in my bed. I might have to sleep on the couch, but I'd do it with a smile knowing there was a food-covered Vin in my place.

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? No, but after...Katie, bar the door.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? Lips and assholes are surprisingly tasty.

7. What’s your favorite Christmas song? I don't really do Christmas, so I'd have to say The Grinch's theme song.

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Used to be Coke. Now I just heartily wish for anything with caffeine while being a "good" girl and glaring at my bottle of water.

9. Is your bathroom clean? Ish?

10. Can you do push ups? Yup, but not too many. I'm more proud of sit-ups, mainly because it doesn't look like I can do so many. Heh. It's always bet material.

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Don't much do jewelry, but I'd have to say it's a tie between a big silver cross choker Jody gave me or an equally big silver-braided index ring Tony gave me. I don't do gold.

12. Do you like painkillers? I don't like medication at all, but frequent headaches make ibuprofen my friend.

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Extensive knowledge of both football and professional wrestling combined with my devilish wit and adorable charm. *cough*

14. Do you have A.D.D.? Add an H and you got me to the nines. Mom used to say that I was the only kid she knew who literally tried to climb the walls.

15. What’s your name? GutterBall

16. Middle Name? My Uncle Wes would swear that it must be Clumsy. He once told my mom that I needed to go to Grace School. Big jerk. I'm scarred for life. Seriously.

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? Vin Diesel covered in dessert. I miss Coke. I'm pretty sure you inject heroin, and isn't it funny how close "heroin" is to "heroine"?

18. Name the last 3 things you bought. A PowerBall ticket (a girl can dream!), a tank of gas to go to the adored brother's wedding reception, and Lobster Bites from Long John Silver's

19. Who is your favorite visual artist? Whoever does those demotivation posters. Those crack me up.

20. You’re stuck on an deserted island with two other people, who would you want to be stranded with? A chef and an engineer.

21. You’ve won a major award and have thanked your family, who else would you thank? Friends, God, and country. And Meatloaf, because I love that guy.

22. Current worry? The unfortunate dichotomy between my take-home pay and my basic bills.

23. Current hate? When providers get into my filing drawer and put things back in the wrong order. What's the point of alphabetizing and date-ordering when someone's just gonna come screw it up??

24. Favorite place to be? Bed. And that's for sleeping, ya perverts!

25. How did you bring in the New year? Kicking the shit out of the old one.

26. Where would you like to go? Everywhere. I love to travel. I love to delve into cultures.

27. Do you own slippers? Nope. If I'm awake, I'm wearing shoes. There is no in-between. I hate feet.

28. What shirt are you wearing? My comfy long-sleeved denim and a grey ¾-length-sleeves tee. I live in layers. I'm a child of the '80s.

29. Do you burn or tan? I prefer burning. It's much more destructive and doesn't require smelly animal hides. Although I do love a good leather coat. Hm. Can I change my answer?

30. Favorite color(s)? Black, green, indigo.

31. Would you be a pirate? I would, but women are bad luck on a ship. I'd have to masquerade as a guy (not terribly hard) and conveniently disappear when that bad luck landed.

32. Are you gay? Happy as a pig in slop. Not homosexual, though.

33. What songs do you sing in the shower? Depends on what CD I'm listening to at the time. I'm very rarely without music when I'm home.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? The monster from whatever horror movie my brother laughingly made me watch that day. Ironically, once I outgrew the hideous and vivid nightmares, I became more a horror afficionado than he is. Go figure.

35. What’s in your pockets right now? Lint. And a pony-tail holder. My life in a nutshell.

36. Where are you? At the dining room table.

37. Best bed sheets as a child? The ones draped over chairs to make a fort.

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Too many to count. I did mention that Grace School remark, ne? Although I can hardly take credit for the bus accident. My school bus rolled down a ravine. I still can't turn my head all the way to the left, and if I toss my hair just right, my spine scalds all the way down my back. My right shoulder will never be the same, either. What can I say? I'm held together with spit and barbed wire.

39. You’re on a trip around the world and have to select five landmarks to visit, what would you pick? The Pyramids, Stonehenge, Easter Island (that's the one with all those stone faces, right?), a genuinely haunted house, and the Bermuda Triangle.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? One, and I mostly use it to watch movies and football.

41. Who is your loudest friend? Now you're just trying to get me in trouble.

42. Who is your quietest friend? Probably the dead one. And no, I'm not kidding. Bless Josh's heart.

43. Does someone have a crush on you? God, I hope not.

44. Do you wish on shooting stars? If I see them. I also wish when I glance up and all the numbers on the clock are the same. You know, 1:11 or 2:22 or my personal favorite, 11:11.

45. What is your favorite book? Whichever one I'm reading that isn't pissing me off.

46. What is your favorite candy? Bottle Caps

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? That's funny.

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Dunno the name, but it goes "The sow took the measles and she died in the spring". It's a tear-jerker, I tell you.

49. What were you doing at 12AM last night? Wishing I wasn't a slow-sleep insomniac.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Why hasn't someone made up a word that rhymes with orange? And no, I'm not kidding. Don't ask.


At 10:08 PM, Blogger Joely Sue Burkhart said...

YAY! Thanks for participating. I love your answers as usual, especially the FORT. I can't believe I forgot that!

At 8:49 AM, Blogger Wonderwood said...

Ha! I knew you had devilish wit and adorable charm! I think those of us that possess those qualities somehow stumble upon each other in cyberspace. Loved your answers, I feel like I know you now ;-)

At 6:43 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

*facepalm* I so don't know what I was thinking. I need a keeper!


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