Dear Charlie:

First and foremost, I'd just like to take a moment to thank Cary Elwes for tagging He Who Doesn't Deserve to Be Named with the absolute best nickname in history. 

Mr. Elwes, you might recall, is the gent who played Westley in The Princess Bride. His main adversary was Prince Humperdink, a "coward with a heart full of fear" and "the slimiest weakling ever to crawl the earth" who paid a group of thug assassins to kidnap his lovely never-really-meant-to-be-a-bride and kill her so he could start a war with a neighboring country.

Thus, it was perhaps fitting that thirty years later, it's Sweet Westley who just named the cowardly and foolish president elect... Trumperdink.

It so fits. And his running mate, Pimple, definitely gives off a Count Rugen vibe, what with that torture kink of his. 

Speaking of Trumperdink and his loyalish attack dog, everyone and their (racist, bigoted) grandma heard about the Hamilton kerfuffle this weekend. And everyone was supposed to hear about it. Trumperdink made sure of it. Though I refuse to link to his Twitter feed where he made a mockery of himself and his baby-thin skin yet again.

Why, do you ask? Why make such a big fuss about a tempest in a teapot at a play the average schmuck can't afford to attend and is sold out until 2018, anyway? And that I doubt Count Pimple cared even half a shit about because he doesn't strike me as man who minds being boo-ed, considering how much his own state hates him? 

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Subterfuge. Camouflage. A smoke screen.

It's a distraction from the fact that Trumperdink settled his bullshit university fraud case. The "I don't settle" guy settled yet another case, admitting to committing fraud to keep the case from going any further and having to answer any uncomfortable questions or produce any embarrassing documents.

So he sent his six-fingered wingman to a play about early American politics put on by an amazing and diverse cast and let the real play begin.

But here's the thing: if this wasn't just a "nothing wrong here; look over there!" diversionary tactic, it would actually be pretty important. Trumperdink is, of course, a moron for ever thinking theatre was a "safe place". Never mind that a politician could be so thin-skinned as to let a little crowd-booing destroy their fragile self esteem (please refer back to that "heart full of fear" and "slimiest weakling" commentary earlier).

Theatre has always been the place where humans can battle the gods and win, where a commoner can thumb his nose at a king. Theatre -- and the arts in general -- has always given powerful voice to the powerless.

That's why it's one of the first things would-be tyrants go after. They want to silence detractors, limit freedom of speech, limit the flow of ideas and knowledge to what they want you to know, and nothing else.

So yes, it's a smokescreen to cover up the fraud thing, but it's still pretty damn disturbing. As is the ridiculous "boycott Hamilton" nonsense of people arguing that they should be able to go see a play without being bothered by politics.

What the hell do they think Hamilton is about??

It's just an all-around fuckarow, and I could almost laugh at the ridiculousness if it didn't signal deeper problems. Like how willing everyone is to jump on something so stupid just to not have to face the fact that the president elect just admitted to fraud just to make the case go away before he's sworn in. Or that he still has 74 open cases against him, including sexual harassment. 

Or that he's so financially compromised in every direction that I can't even list/link them all because we may never know all of them because he still won't release his tax records.

Ugh. I just can't.

This is where we are right now, folks. Forget that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by 1.7 million votes and counting. It's always been long odds for enough electorates to flip to elect her instead of Trumperdink.

All we can do is keep pointing out the utter unsuitability of this giant orange buffoon for anything resembling public service. Point it out to our senators and representatives and party leadership and even our state and local politicians and ask them to stand up for us against him and his parade of hate-mongers. Point it out loudly and often.

I honestly don't know what the procedure would be if we managed to get him ousted due to all his unconstitutional financial conflicts of interest. Would Congress have to accept Clinton by default, since she was the only other real candidate and did win the popular vote? Would they swear in Count Pimple instead, God help us please no?

Would there be some other option? I honestly don't know the constitutional provision for a somewhat elected candidate being proven unfit for office before the swearing in. If anyone knows, please please tell us.

We need some hope.