Friday, May 23, 2014

Dear Charlie:

Ha! Got busy! Sorry!

But I have a funny for you. I finally got to make the dumbest awesome joke ever. A little backstory for you:

Okay, so about two months ago, we were planning this event in May at a Fourth Friday event in a neighboring town. We knew we wanted it to be a saloon show, but with several short skits, rather than one long, cohesive show. So, the lady in charge asked if some of us would write the skits.

Well, I got to thinking about that great old Carol Burnett Show sketch with Harvey Korman and Sammy Davis, Jr. where Korman is the sheriff whose deputy just left him (and who is now a drinking mess) and Sammy Davis, Jr. plays his old nearly-deputy who comes back to laugh at him because now he's deputy for Wyatt Earp. It's all about male insecurity and such and is just priceless. So I wrote an updated version of that, and it was lots of fun.

Then, about a month ago, we find out we only have one guy joining us this month. And he's in his 90s. *sigh*

Just like that, we have to rewrite all our sketches for all-girl roles, and it goes from male insecurity to jokes about not being able to park and being irritated at men for not asking directions. And bloody hell, but somehow I end up cast as the drunk sheriff.

Part of the joke is a whole "where's ma gun?" and "on your hip" joke, so for the role, I decided to just stick my gun in my jeans pocket with my shirt kinda rucked up over it. However, there was also a sheriff in the other skit, so I ended up being the sheriff in that one, too, so I ended up having to keep my gun in my pocket the whole darn night.

So fastforward to tonight, which was show night.

It's muggy as hell outside, and we've already done our dances like a million times (no more than three each, but refer back to that "muggy as hell" thing) and both skits twice each, so we're all a little loopy at this point, and one of the saloon girls comes over and is dancing like right up on me (remember that whole "drunk sheriff" thing), trying to knock me over.

And finally, the moment is upon me. I finally get to say THE DUMBEST AWESOME JOKE EVER.

"That really is a gun in my pocket. I'm not happy to see you."

...

...

Thank you. Don't forget to tip your waitress. *mic drop*