Wednesday, July 06, 2011


I was going to get on here tonight and post about a punny thing I said at work today that cracked the folks up, but a weird impulse made me cruise by FaceBook after checking my e-mail. I can't emphasize enough how rare that is. Unless I get an e-mail telling me someone's talking to me or some event is coming up, I'm more a Twitter user.

But it's maybe a good thing I did, because I found out that a friend of mine committed suicide Monday. I'm not sure yet how it all went down, but I gotta tell ya, he's the last person I expected it of.

He was young and had plans. He was funny. A little shy, but coming out of it, thanks to community theater. Talented and just discovering it. He could sing, play guitar, and act. He was smart - good grades, intuitive, a great conversationalist.

Maybe that last most of all. He was a great conversationalist. When he talked with you, he understood the concept of give and take. It wasn't all him, but he did have interesting things to say. Witty, informed things. He was just a kid, but he knew the importance of knowing things. Knowledge for knowledge's sake.

So few kids grasp that.

I knew he was down, but I honestly hadn't spoken to him more than once since I moved just after the tornado. I didn't think he was that down, or I'd have talked to him. I'd have given him the Crisis number at work or sat beside him and called it myself and handed him the phone. I failed him, and while I'm not the only one, I feel like a real asshole. Here I've been busting my ass to help total strangers while letting one of my own slip away.

He will be missed by countless groups: school friends he grew up with, theater friends he'd just made, an entire road crew he was an honorary member of, others. He was sweet, generous, loving, and wise (perhaps beyond his years).

And now he's gone.

You will be missed, Chris. You left us too soon, but I try to take comfort in knowing that you only beat me to the finish line and will therefore be waiting when I drag my sorry ass over it, too. We'll have a beer and play some Clue.

I'm really gonna miss that.


At 12:48 AM, Blogger Zojojojo said...

Oh, Neechan...I am so, so sorry to hear about this. It is always terrible when someone dies, but especially someone young and filled with promise.

My thoughts are with you, dear friend.

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Sherri said...

This is so sad to hear. He sounds like a truly amazing young man. My thoughts are with you, his family and friends.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

I just hate that he didn't give himself a chance, ya know? He had all these things going for him. He had a troubling homelife, to be sure, but he'd distanced himself from it, and, for the most part, I really thought he had his shit together for such a young'un.

It kills me to know I wasn't there for him. I had no idea, but that's no excuse. I should have known and should have stepped in. Hell, I'm even half-trained to do just that. Yet when it comes to someone I know, I miss the boat.


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