Monday, January 24, 2011

Dear Charlie:

Woo-hoo! Finally crammed stuff around to get my computer desk into my bedroom! Yaaay!

...

Of course, this means I have no excuse for not writing. Gotta get that nose back to the grindstone. But that's a good thing. I'm hoping the creative outlet, once I work it back into shape, will perk me up some. I miss disappearing into worlds of my own creating, miss the flow of words, miss the hours fading to nothing as my characters live their lives on the page.

Let's hope it gets back to that. I can't wait.

If nothing else, it's nice to not have my back to an open, public room. I know it's weird, but I really hate that. I don't even do that in restaurants if I can help it.

It isn't a feng shui thing. I'm not worried about eddying or disrupted chi. Heck, according to feng shui, my current set-up is a no-no because my back is to the doorway. I think I might actually be facing evil. Heheh. Either way, it doesn't bother me in here.

I just don't like my back to an open room.

Yes. I know I'm an oddball. There are degrees of nuttiness I'm willing to tolerate in myself.

Let's do this thing. Woot!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Somber Update:

Well, I just got back from my cousin's funeral. Car accident. Go figure.

You wanna talk about irony.

Bless her heart, but RoyAnna was young -- only seventeen -- and smart and funny and active and the picture of health. Played all kinds of sports. Brought smiles everywhere she went. She was a good girl -- not a rebel, not a boundary-pusher, kind to strangers and puppies.

And before she even really got a shot at life, she's gone.

How is it that cranky old me has a car accident and gets out without a scratch, while such an innocent is dead? Is it true that only the good die young?

Or is it insulting to her memory to apply such a hackneyed old cliche?

Either way, the funeral was hard. I've never seen the old hometown funeral home so overfilled. It was worse than standing-room-only. People were standing on the sidewalk outside because it was too packed for any more guests inside. It was so full that we didn't even get to stand in the main room, and we were close family.

But that's the kind of girl she was. Everybody loved her. She will be gravely missed.

But sadder still is that I'd only seen her a handful of times in her life. Oh, I knew her. Got regular reports from all over the place, all of them glowing about how funny she was, how good a sport, how active and smart. I felt like I knew her so well, but it had been probably five years since I last saw her.

It's scary how suddenly it ended for her. I mean, it's good that she didn't suffer horribly. Don't get me wrong. But... seventeen? That's a blink of the eye.

At any rate, I hope she rests well, and I hope her parents and sister are able to cope without her. A little of the light went out for all of us today, but we're all hoping that remembering her will bring it back every now and again.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Dear Charlie:

Okay, so I'm liking the new car. More than liking, but I'm not willing to admit to the L word just yet. Heh.

2008 Dodge Caliber. Very sweet. And it's Deadpool-colored, which is even better. Rides smooth, shifts without a hitch, gets right on it, and has an engine so quiet I can't hear it over the radio. Beauty.

I've named it Big Bad George. Yes, the big and bad are necessary.

...

Okay, so I'm a little afraid that not naming the Avenger jinxed it, so I hurried around to find a name, but I really think it fits. Good ol' BBG.

I think we're gonna be pals. We seem to get along thus far, anyway.

Pictures will follow. I intended to take some just today, but it's too bright outside for my phone's camera.

Stupid sun. I still can't figure out why someone hasn't blown it up yet. Sheesh. Just because doing so would destroy all life on this planet and any potential life-like states on any other planets in the galaxy (at the very least).

Big show off. Pssh.

...I take it that it's pretty obvious I've been perusing my Deadpool collection. At least I'm not talking in different fonts.

Yet.

Friday, January 07, 2011

Progress Update:

Things might be looking up?

Nothing is set in stone yet, but it looks like I'll be getting a great car to replace my awesome sauce car, and that ain't bad at all. I was really scared. I'm not gonna lie.

But... *crosses fingers*... signs appear very hopeful that I'll have a 2008 Dodge Caliber to replace my 2009 Dodge Avenger, and that is definitely a fair trade. More mileage, but definitely lower than anything else we looked at. I am hugely relieved, and since the two cars are very similar (one's an obvious sedan-type car while the other is a hatchback/crossover-type, but that's really the only difference), I imagine I can count on this one as much as my lovely Avenger.

Basically, just waiting for the insurance paperwork to come thru, but I am definitely relieved. Thank God, and thank you guys for putting up with me in a very, very low moment. I hate blogging when I'm low (it's just not fair to you guys), but it had been a while and I figured I needed to update something.

Now, back to that "getting a good day job" problem....

Heh. At least that's a familiar problem, right? I know there's something out there. I just gotta find it. I am determined to be hopeful.

Here goes?

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Odd-Ball Update:

Well, I know I shoulda blogged before now, but I wasn't quite sure how to go about it. I'm too stressed out to make fun of the situation, but I also don't want to be either whiny, bitchy, ranty, or just plain annoying.

Quite the dilemma.

In the end, I've just decided to be honest. I can always delete later, right? So... here goes.

Needless to say, 2010 wasn't very nice to me. Sure, I got my book out, and that's awesome sauce. Also, I got a great role in a musical and also performed in the local DickensFest. Found out I have a bit of a knack for set painting.

It wasn't a complete bust, is all I'm saying.

But the stuff that went wrong went spectacularly wrong. Still can't find a decent day job, and part-time minimum wage is killing me. Lost my house. Had to sell most of my furniture and such because I simply don't have room for it. Had to move in with other people (if you know me, that's almost funny... if it weren't so sad). So, lost all my comfortable surroundings and that lovely, wonderful blanket of distance that allowed me to survive having to work with other people.

Lost my car.

Yup. My beloved, wonderful, reliable, never-did-anything-wrong Avenger. It's gone to Automotive Heaven. Some guy killed it on Christmas Eve, and for no good reason I can fathom. No, the insurance company isn't screwing me over (for a change), but due to circumstances I'd rather not go into on this blog on which I've always tried to avoid ranting, I'm not getting anything even half as good as what I've lost.

We'll see tomorrow how well or badly I come out of the morass.

And there's where I've been having the hardest time. In a year where I've lost everything including my independence, I still at least had a car I figured I'd have for twenty years. Or more. It was like a safety net at the very bottom of my incomprehensible freefall.

But now? Back to someone else's headaches. Someone else's mistakes. And with the tiny payout I'm getting, the likelihood of those headaches being severe (and expensive) are astronomical.

And I have to choose wisely, because it's not like I'll be able to afford anything better for God only knows how long. This is my only shot at something even half-ass reliable, and no amount of browbeating will make me back down on what I need.

But oh... the browbeating. Crap. Don't get started, Geeb. You'll never stop.

So anyway, it just seems that 2010 gave me one last kick in the teeth, then strode away laughing at my pitiful attempts to salvage something from the wreckage. I can only hope that 2011 holds a few less agonizing surprises.

Please, God? Okay?

/endwhinyrant

Sorry. I tried.