Monday, August 30, 2010

Dear Charlie:

Now I'm more than ever tempted to delete the last post, but I don't think I will. Why? I dunno. Maybe because it's true and from the heart. Maybe because I sometimes think people think I don't have problems just because I don't talk about them more than I strictly have to.

Whatever.

But for right now, the Geeb's jolly is back in full force. Why, you ask again?

SO glad you asked.

Just watched The Expendables.

Now, maybe it's just because I've had such a crap week. Month. Year. Decade? Anyway, maybe it's because I was in such a crap mood, but I honestly think this may be the shining epitome of what a movie should be -- 100% escapist entertainment.

Seriously. Having a bad day? Watch a movie. If it's a good movie, it'll make you feel better even if it makes you cry. If it's a bad movie, you'll be pissed you bothered popping it in.

Next time I'm having a bad day? SOOOOO watching The Expendables.

All my favorite action folks, both old and new, in one flick? Check. Lots of stuff blowing up? Check. A kick-ass gun that sounds like a cross between a grenade launcher and a tommy gun? Check. Cheeseburger Eddie? Check. Equally kick-ass soundtrack? Check. Tons of fight scenes where everyone having their own fight is absolutely spendin' the money on their opponent? Checkity-check. Scene where an old and grizzled retired battle master repents of the one chance he had to save a piece of his soul? Check. Snarky remarks? Double... no, triple check.

I love this movie. It has everything I need. And I really, really needed that.

And honestly. It's got both Stallone and Schwarzenegger. I'd line up to watch the First Annual "Kyutest Widdle Kitty in the World!!1!" Contest if I thought Sly and Arnie would show up. My ticket was sold just based on that.

Yes, it's action porn. Yes, it's almost two hours of blowing shit up and being both muscle-y and cheeky at the same time. I ask ya: what's wrong with that?

Answer? Nothing. They ain't nuthin wrong widdat.

So, to the revered Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Rourke, Austin, Crews, and Couture crew, thank you. Thank you for giving me exactly what I needed exactly when I needed it. You don't know me from Adam, but seriously. Keep doin what you're doin. I love you guys.

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