Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Dear Charlie:

Well, it's Wednesday -- or close enough for government work -- so I think I'm far enough removed from the incident to finally talk about it. That dreadful 0-34 blowout at the Panthers.

God, it hurt to watch.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: when your punter's having a great day, the rest of the team is not. One of the few good things I can say about Sunday's game was that Dustin Colquitt was, as usual, in fine form.

But seriously. He shouldn't have to earn his paycheck quite so fully.

Like I said in a comment to The Poz's article -- I've never commented there before, but I couldn't help myself this time -- that game was like someone came up with a new reality show where they steal all the Chiefs gear, put it on a bunch of average joes, and make the Joes play a real NFL team. The winner isn't the best player, but whoever's left standing after the beating.

I think it's safe to say that Bernard Pollard and Derrick Johnson were still standing -- I remember not wincing when their names were mentioned, anyway -- and Colquitt was definitely still on his talented feet, but that's about it.

Well, Tony Gonzales achieved the last remaining tight end record he hadn't already smashed to bits, which is pretty cool, but...seriously. He only needed 2 yards to get it. And it's gotta hurt to own every tight end record available and still not have a SuperBowl ring. I can understand why he's looking elsewhere, though I'll be sorry as hell to see him go. He's a class act, so far as I know.

But between the continual juggling of the quarterbacks, the seemingly insurmountable youth of the team as a whole, and this odd laissez-faire coaching strategy from Herm Edwards that boggles my rational mind, my beloved Chiefs are sinking faster than a lead balloon in a quadruple gravity well. At some point, it's gotta stop. I know good and well from the occasional glimpse of past Arizona Cardinals games that 34-0 is not rock bottom, but it's been a damn long time since my boys sunk that low.

Let's not test the bedrock.

These young players showed heart and the building blocks of discipline against a bewildered Broncos team a week back. I know they can do it again. But Herm is gonna have to get his two fingers out of his mouth and get over being "puzzled" about his team. We're gonna have to watch those penalties and, for the love of the goalpost gods, we gotta capitalize on turnovers instead of just turning it back over.

Is there a record for how many times a ball was turned over in a single quarter? Because I think we came close. We threw it, they intercepted. They dropped it, we picked it up. We dropped it, they picked it up. Unfortunately, they scored...and we totally didn't.

Yes, it's a rebuilding year, but even rebuilding from the ground up wouldn't excuse what happened on Sunday. That was like a tune-up game from hell. We can't let it happen again. I don't care if we finish up 4-12 again, so long as we're not 1-15 because of a one-time blitzkrieg that gave us an excuse to not care about the rest of the season. It doesn't work that way.

Not if you wanna ever get out of the cellar. And I know my boys, whatever iteration they may be. My boys don't like the cellar. Even if we go one-n-done in the playoffs, we usually...ya know...go. At least a few times a decade. Anyone got stats on that?

Doesn't matter. They'll get better. They always get better. And hopefully, we'll soon say bye-bye to Herm Edwards and hello to...well...just about anyone else. But Shottenheimer.

Guh. Run, run, run, punt! Run, run, run, punt! Run, run, run, punt! Anyone see a pattern? It's called Marty Ball for a reason. Oi.

Let's...not talk about it anymore.

Go Chiefs!

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