Friday, June 27, 2008

Dear Charlie

My beloved sister, bless her heart, is a coffee snob. She admits it freely. Is proud of it, as well she should be. She would rather die than drink Folger's. She turns up her sophisticated nose at Starbucks. I think she would honestly rather be consumed slowly by fire ants than slog through a cup of gas station sludge.

She knows what she likes. More power to her.

I, on the other hand, have recently come to the conclusion that I'm a smoothie snob. Yes, I can just make up classifications.

See, just last year, I got suckered into a mall. My reward was whatever I wanted from the food court. To be honest, I wanted nothing more than a giant Coke, so I was more interested in the drink menu than anything else. However, it was a hot day outside, so I eventually decided on a smoothie.

Can't honestly say I'd ever had a smoothie before that. Seriously.

So, figuring I'd get little better than a fruit-flavored slush with a little milk in it, I watched in pleased surprise as the teenager behind the counter pulled out a couple of actual bananas, real strawberries, canned pineapple chunks, and canned coconut milk, a boatload of sugar, and whole milk, tossed them into a blender with some ice, and hit puree.

Best. Damn. Beverage. EVER.

Seriously. I drank on that thing all day. Fruity, a little bumpy with seeds and such, sweet, and just damn good. I was instantly addicted.

Imagine my dismay when every smoothie I've tried since -- not that I've just been beating down doors to find them -- haven't come close to measuring up.

See, I think I must have the definition of "smoothie" wrong. Either that, or I have it mixed up with the definition of "slushie". Seems that most people think they can just dump some fruit-flavored mix into some ice and milk and call it a smoothie. To me, that's a slushie. No real fruit, see.

But hey. I can totally admit I'm wrong. *shrug* No big.

Ironically enough, I broke down and tried Sonic's lemon berry cream slush just this morning. And whaddya had real fruit blended up in it. And cream. And ice. Slush? Or smoothie?

Who the hell knows?

And it was so good that who the hell cares? Ha! Long live smoothie snobs.

*tips glass*


At 2:57 PM, Blogger writtenwyrdd said...

We made smoothies at home when I was a kid, before they were invented by orange julius et al. If you want whole fruit, the Orange Julius chain used to use actual oranges and strawberries. Haven't seen one in years, though.

i am a coffee snob, too. But let me tell you, some of these gas stations are serving up some really good coffee these days.

At 8:35 PM, Blogger Joely Sue Burkhart said...

If prices keep going up, then I might have to give up coffee all together. *sobs*

Coldstone makes a mean smoothie with real fruit. So does Kaldi's, the alternative coffee place (home of Highlander Grog).

At 9:00 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

Ooooh...Highlander Grog...*drools*

You do realize you've made me a coffee snob by default with that stuff, right, Sis? Heheheh...

And I can't remember the place we bought from, WW, but the OJ one sounds pretty good, too. *sigh* Oh, for the lost art of fruit-pulverizing!


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