Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Dear Charlie:

Okay, so....

Many moons ago, I set about ordering Jane Eyre, the movie I fell head over heels for at my beloved sister's house when I went there to watch the ProBowl. I tried Amazon first, but though the movie was released Feb. 20, the shipping estimate wasn't until March 22. No thank you. So I bided (bode?) my time until Feb. 19, at which point I called every new-movie store in town and asked if they'd be getting a copy.

No dice. Apparently, my little city is a cultural wasteland. If it's anime or BBC, we ain't gettin it.

So, I checked Best Buy. Ah! The shipping estimate was Feb. 21, and I was pleased. But the price was $4 more, and though I'd swear that Best Buy doesn't add shipping charges, there was another $2+ in shipping and handling to pay. Surely that was a small price to pay for getting it this century, though, so I ordered.

The next day, I went back to Amazon and ordered one for my beloved sister. Yes, she has the movie on her DVR, but That Man isn't particularly a fan, so I figured he might "accidentally" delete it. Thus, I wanted her to have the DVD but wasn't in a hurry to get it to her. Surprise, but the shipping estimate had moved up to Feb. 28, which made me quite happy. I ordered.

Fast forward to Feb. 25 -- a Sunday. I get e-mails from both Best Buy and Amazon telling me that both orders had shipped (which meant they would actually ship on Monday). I was thrilled for Sis, but I was a little irritated that Best Buy hadn't shipped by their own estimate. No bother. I'd surely have the movie in hand in about 5 days.

I should take this opportunity to remind everyone that I live in the Nexus of No Mail.

Fast forward again to Saturday, March 3. Sis e-mails me, excited because she just got my so-thoughtful gift. I'm still high and dry, but I'm happy for her. At least That Man can stop complaining now [admittedly, I dunno that he did complain, but ya know].

Monday comes around, and I finally look up the tracking information to see where the heck my package is stuck. The tracking number supplied in the confirmation e-mail from Best Buy was for UPS. UPS tracked the shipment from Illinois to Missouri (my state) to...Kansas? At any rate, the package became the USPS's problem on Feb. 28 in Kansas City, Kansas.

USPS can't track it any further than that -- at least, not on the tracking web site. I get tired of waiting and call my local post office over my lunch hour. Give him the tracking number. Get an earful about how stupid it is to use UPS. Find out that instead of shipping to Missouri, they sent it on to ZIP code 03306.

That's in New Hampshire. Yeah.

So, I call the Best Buy website's toll free number and ask what the heck. They can't even track it as far as Kansas City. They have no clue what's going on. The conversation goes a little something like this.

Best Buy Lady: Can I have your Best Buy order number please?

Me: *complies*

BBL: Hm. We have that it shipped on March 25. Did it come from...uhhh...Minnesota?

Me: *blank look* Um, the UPS site said it originated in Illinois.

BBL: Oh. Well, my program says it's untrackable. That's strange.

Me: *getting irritated* That's what the USPS site told me, too, but I called my local post office and he tracked it a little further and found out that it's in New Hampshire.

BBL: Why is that a problem?

Me: I live in Missouri.

BBL: Oh. *long pause to cogitate* If you don't get it by the 9th, you can call us back--

Me: *interrupts - an unusual event* Um, that's the day after tomorrow. I don't think it's coming back from New Hampshire by day after tomorrow.

BBL: *longer pause to cogitate* Um, all I can say is if you call back after the 9th, we can send you another.

Me: How can I be sure it won't go to New Hampshire again?

BBL: *looooong pause to cogitate* Um....

Yeah. You can imagine the rest. I used a joking tone with her, but I was pretty irritated and I'm pretty sure she knew it.

However, this does clarify something that has been a murky issue for me for a long time. I've always wondered why my mail is hit-or-miss, why I once got a birthday card in June that was postmarked from February (which is my birthday month and when the friend sent it), why I sometimes don't receive invoices or bills at all. See, I've finally discovered that all of my iffy mail goes to New Hampshire.

This. Explains. Everything.

So, I just need to move to New Hampshire so I can get my mail like everyone else.


At 7:59 PM, Blogger Joely Sue Burkhart said...

ACK! You still don't have yours???? Oh, Sis! You'll have to come HERE to watch YOUR dvd!!

P.S. Dad's supposed to come down tomorrow.

At 9:57 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

Heh, is that a hint? I might just take you up on it. It depends on what time I drag ass out of bed tomorrow morning.

At 6:26 AM, Blogger Devgel Zo said...

Poor Geebers!! This explains why all the packages I send you get lost and foot-printed...and when I use the SA postal system, it goes to UPS and this is why I panic that the stuff I sent you has been squirreled away by anime-deprived postmen.

Big hugs, and I hope you get your disks soon!


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