Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Dear Charlie:

Toilet's fixed. For now. Funny story, that.

See, I must not come across as someone who knows what she's talking about, no matter how smilingly reasonable I am. I said, "I don't usually flush the toilet when it's messed up like this because the water doesn't stop."

Pretty self-explanatory, ne? I mean, when the toilet's messed up, the water doesn't stop when it usually would. When the little plunger thingie pops up, the water just keeps running. When the tank is filled, the water just keeps running. There's no rhyme or reason to when it will stop. Sometimes it'll run for five minutes, I kid you not. But only when the toilet's messed up.

Yes, I am aware that you can just push down the plug. And that there's a shut off. Neither work when the toilet is messed up. I'm not your average user, here.

So...what does the guy do? Flushes.

Instant mess. Not a terribly attractive smell, either. The guy is okay until he can't get the water to stop. Gee, it just keeps on coming out. He sends his partner out to shut off the water at the curb. I'm SO not kidding.

I just offer him my dwindling supply of towels, shake my head, and tell myself that they'd better clean this bugger-all up before they leave. I'm paying $65 for this?

So he freaks out when it just doesn't stop and keeps saying, "I've never seen a toilet do this! Why doesn't it stop?" And I repeat, "It just doesn't. It'll stop when it's done and not before." To which he patiently and calmly replies, "When's he gonna get the goddamned water turned off!"

Heh. Anyway, so it stops, and the guy heaves a sigh of relief and kicks around the towels for a while, trying to soak up roughly a half-inch of unattractive and not-pure water from my bathroom floor. I blithely hand him paper towels to aid in the process, and his partner comes running in, saying that she couldn't get the water shut off at the curb because it's twisted too tight.

"Then...why'd the water stop?"

"It just does. There's no rhyme or reason. It just stops when it's done."

I feel like I've had this conversation before. Anyway, he mops up the worst of it with paper towels and I encourage him to just throw away my poor bath towels -- need to get more of those, by the way -- and most of the revolting smell disappears. Funny thing, the water is almost BLACK. Not a good sign.

So they pull out the big guns and get the big outside snake. After a while, during which he keeps repeating that he's never seen one just not shut off like that, the verdict comes back. Roots in the line. Well, duh. What else turns toilet water black?

Don't answer that.

Admittedly, I didn't guess the "roots" thing until I saw the black water. "Gee, that looks like dirt." That kind of thing.

Anyway, problem solved, and the toilet flushes just fine and shuts off just fine. He stares at me like he can't believe it. I just shrug. I told him.

So they charge me $50 instead of the original $65 and leave, and I get to mop the bathroom yet again. Twice in one day. A record. Actually, three times -- one with Pine-Sol and one with bleach. Yeah. I do NOT want to smell crap until that room airs out. No. Frickin. WAY.

And THEN I went to work. *dies*


At 5:59 PM, Blogger Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Woot, toliet is fixed! *makes note: towels for Sis's Christmas gifts*

At 6:52 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

Hey, now! I'm not waiting that long! I'll pick up some at Wal-mart this weekend, Sis. No worries.

Unless, of course, you come across one of those nifty bath sheets? Those are hella cool!


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