Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Dear Charlie:

I had SUCH bizarro dreams last night.

My beloved sister, God love her, knows that when I say "bizarro", I really mean it. Therefore, the content of said dreams won't be divulged here. Suffice it to say that I was actually pretty glad to wake up this morning, and I only hit "snooze" once before practically fleeing the covers.

Now, these weren't BAD dreams. I'm not talking nightmares.

However, my dreams do tend to be disturbingly...vivid. They're just so very REAL. So real, in fact, that sometimes I wake up and feel, well...leftovers.

For instance, one night I dreamed that a mutant alien spider thing bit off the first two fingers of my right hand. The dream was SO REAL that not only did I feel every nuance of pain -- the singing of exposed nerves, the deep buzzing ache of severed bone, the burn up my entire arm -- but I also experienced everything else.

Blood welling up in the severed digits and spilling down my hand and arm. The horrified shrieks of my friends. The vise-like strength of my other hand as it clamped down on my wrist, trying to stop the copious, deadly flow. The utter shock at both the quickness of the attack and the immediacy of my own vicious reprisal as I shook the little bastard off and stomped on it, hearing and feeling the satisfying crunch of its exoskeleton under my boot.

And then I woke up.

And the nightmare wasn't over.

I still clutched my wrist in a deathgrip, trying to stop the blood I still felt pulsing out the gaping wounds and down my hand. I still felt the buzzing pain all the way up to my shoulder. It was terrifying in its reality. For a long, desperate moment, I knew with utter certainty that I had just lost the first two fingers of my right hand.

It took a measureless eternity to calm down enough to force my mind to doubt the powerful illusion. In fact, even when I eventually conned myself into turning on the light to prove it false, I was still so convinced by the myriad sensations that I honestly expected to see bloody stumps. Even SEEING my perfectly whole and unbloodied hand didn't fully dispel the image, and I felt phantom pain for the entire following day.

At any rate, though my dreams last night weren't exactly nightmares, they were a bit disturbing in their reality. I woke up feeling like I'd been used as a punching bag by either a skilled martial artist or an insane idiot.

I'm not sure which is worse.


At 2:15 PM, Blogger Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Who was under that SpiderMan mask again?

At 2:26 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

Ack! Shut yer pie-hole, Sis!

*blushes in mortification*

That will NEVER see the light of day on this or any other blog! Eesh!

At 2:36 PM, Blogger Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Heh, couldn't resist. I didn't give any

At 2:49 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

*glare* I know the details entirely too well! I DEFINITELY don't need any reminders! Eesh....

*grumbles and blushes harder*

Frickin' Spider-Man. Me and my big frickin' mouth.

At 9:57 PM, Blogger username said...

Huge hugs to you. Spiders are scary.

At 11:50 PM, Blogger GutterBall said...

*innocent, scared face* Thank, Kel! I needed that!

Yes, the little alien-looking sons-a-bitches are scary.


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